Punky Sidekicks, All the ladies you hate, superheroes, Bisexuality Existing and You Not Being a Biphobic Asshole, queer stuff, kinky stuff, sex positive, fanfic, sexual escapades of fictional people

 

cannibalhands asked
Patron Saint of Recognizing Shitty Characters. Heir to the writing privileges for Agents of SHIELD.

I’d piss off so many people if I took over the writing privileges for SHIELD. 

1. Ward would die. Victoria Hand, who had an LMD shot in her place, would show up and put the bullet directly between his pretty little eyes. 

Then she would go out to celebrate with dinner with her girlfriend. 

2. Sharon Carter would show up and try to get Trip to join the CIA because it is really super boring there. 

3. Maria & Melinda would run SHIELD. The whole bit with Coulson being in charge would have been a bad nightmare caused by a severe reaction to whatever is keeping him alive. Alien bodily fluids give you bad dreams, yo.

4. Skye would continue to actually be able to protect herself, and she would seek therapy for all of the abuse and sexual violence that Ward threatened her with. 

5. Ace, Mike and Akela would be given the space and time that is going to be wasted on Ward’s pathetic Nazi ass this season. 

6. I’d introduce Ward’s little brother, who grew up to be a great person and not a shit bag. He’d tag along with Sam on a mission and Sam would be like, “Man, I already knew your brother was a piece of shit, but he grew up to be a Nazi, too. Damn.” 

7. Steve would show up to be really fucking pissed off that the agency he tore down for a reason is trying to be rebuilt, he’d explain very calmly to Coulson that there was no way that he was going to do a better job than Peggy Carter did, and then he would say, “I guess I didn’t inspire you as much as you thought.” And then he would leave.

8. Enough is enough with all this bullshit about Coulson having to pretend to be dead. It was a fucking ridiculous plotline when Bru pulled it with Bucky and it makes no real sense when Coulson does it, either. 

At least Bucky was wanted for murder and treason and all sorts of bad things. Coulson just … continually overestimates his own damn importance and wants to be a dick? IDK. There’s no point in it. 

The rest of the team can stop pretending to be dead too, because that’s silly.

jajvert:

do u have a ship u like but u only like it when its shipped a certain way

except a lot of people dont ship it that way

(Source: birdemic)

lady-alternate asked
Queen Of Garden Tools, Princess Of The Sunny Disposition, Empress Of The Dominion Of Hawkeye Squared. Heir To The Wings Of The Falcon, Goddess Of Lady Rage, Protector Of Young Women Everywhere, Patron Saint Of The Bus We're All On Which Definitely Isn't Going To Heaven and Mistress Of Cheap Smutty Fanfic.

These are good and fair endorsements. 

But you know i hate hawkeye squared! I totally haven’t written any of it and that one time i called it pedophilia and was obviously not joking at all!!!!! (/sarcasm i totally was.) 

becketted:

golden-femme:


New still from Season 2

GET ‘UM.

i don’t get people who are going “oh, no, Skye has learned to shoot, she’s going to dirty her hands, how horrible” (we all know which part of fandom that reaction comes from, mainly). it’s misjudging Skye and babying her a horrible way.
look, i’m more invested than anyone in Flawless Morality Queen Skye than anyone in this fandom, and i will cry the day she has to take a life (even if it turns to be Ward’s, though i’m hoping it will be her father’s). a character can dirty their hands and have a perfect moral compass.
do people think less of Steve Rogers because he has had to shoot people? Do people think less of Sam Wilson? these people are fighting Nazis and supervillains, knowing how to shoot a gun is not a character flaw.
Skye has always been a tough badass, now she just happens to know how handle weapons. i don’t understand how that completely ruins her character. (i suspect it ruins the vision of the character some people had who are invested in having her be a meek babygirl, when she has never been that). or is her character so feeble and underwritten that having a gun is enough to completely change it? no. Skye will keep being Skye (if the writers don’t fuck up which, er, it’s very possible) but her experiences have informed her character and evolution is logical and desirable, I’m all for character development. Getting skills doesn’t mean she will lose her moral compass. She will not become May (btw what’s up with all the May hate? Skye can take her own decisions, May hasn’t made her take up a gun - which we see her do since episode 4 but okay. i bet some people who complain about Skye modelling herself after May wouldn’t have had problems if Ward wasn’t a traitor and Skye started copying him and expressing her admiration for his skills, but maybe that’s just me), she will become Skye-with-new-skills and Skye-with-new-ways-to-protect-the-innocent. No one ever whines when male characters get to do badass things and I bet if tomorrow Fitz wanted to take classes with May because he feels safer knowing how to defend himself no one would take it as a sign that they are going to ruin his character.
i don’t understand. We know Skye wanted to be a field agent because we were told explicitly in episode 3. We know she needs to learn how to protect herself and others because she said it was important to her in “Yes Men”. She is the one who first expressed her desire for May to teach her. What’s wrong with Skye getting exactly what she wants. Plus think of her circumstances. She’s been shot and kidnapped and threatened with rape. I want Skye to know how to protect herself and others, if only because it will help her feel much more fucking safer, and she will be glad to know she can help the team in more ways than she already has. I love Skye, i want that for Skye, i want her to feel safer and more useful and closer to agents she admires like May and Coulson and Trip.

Skye absolutely belongs in the category of Sam and Steve. That’s her morality alignment. And if they can be soldiers, so can she. Because it’s what she’s wanted for a good long time now. 
Yeah, I am watching much of the discussion about Skye in season two and shaking my head. This show does a lot of gross things, but I absolutely don’t want Coulson saving Skye from Ward. Agent May I am fine with, but all these men swooping in like it’s a badly written romance novel to save Skye from Ward is not what I am here for. 
Skye has wanted to be a field agent for a while. I one hundred percent prefer her getting her wish than it to be … say like the scenario on Arrow where the men baby and patronize Felicity and act like she has no right to be out there. 
Skye has been victimized a lot. She doesn’t like the feeling of powerlessness and hopelessness that comes with that and her way of dealing with that has been to say, “I want to be trained so that I can physically defend myself against threats like that.” 
It is a way for an abuse survivor (from her childhood, from Ian, from Ward etc) to be able to say “No. You do not get control of my life anymore. I am taking it back.” 
Also, I absolutely do not want repeats of “we have to go save Skye.” It was perfectly acceptable last year, because she was new. But combined with the problematic way that Victoria Hand was written to just sit there and be shot without fighting back even though she is a level 8 agent and she could have and should have been written as being able to take out Ward 
(Or Ward should have known that taking her out first was necessary) 
It starts to set a bad precedent on the show when the female lead of the show has to be rescued all the time. 
What I am much more interested in is this: Skye and May, training together, and showing how they are much different warriors. May is also a trauma survivor, and she is surviving by keeping her emotions in check - and that’s okay! 
But Skye won’t be that kind of person, I don’t think? So give me that story, show. Give me the story where Skye and May are friends and teacher/student, but their methods and outlooks are different. Give me the narrative that portrays two women who are equally awesome but entirely different. 
Give me the narrative where Skye is the morality police and can still defend herself. Let Skye be able to do what so many survivors of abuse, gender violence, and sexual assault can’t: let her take that power back. 
And let her use it in a good way. The way Grant Ward never did. 
Basically, tldr: Let Skye climb down out of the tower by herself, not have to sit around and wait on a prince to rescue her. Give her those tools and let’s not complain because oh no it means she has to metaphorically cut her hair. 

becketted:

golden-femme:

New still from Season 2

GET ‘UM.

i don’t get people who are going “oh, no, Skye has learned to shoot, she’s going to dirty her hands, how horrible” (we all know which part of fandom that reaction comes from, mainly). it’s misjudging Skye and babying her a horrible way.

look, i’m more invested than anyone in Flawless Morality Queen Skye than anyone in this fandom, and i will cry the day she has to take a life (even if it turns to be Ward’s, though i’m hoping it will be her father’s). a character can dirty their hands and have a perfect moral compass.

do people think less of Steve Rogers because he has had to shoot people? Do people think less of Sam Wilson? these people are fighting Nazis and supervillains, knowing how to shoot a gun is not a character flaw.

Skye has always been a tough badass, now she just happens to know how handle weapons. i don’t understand how that completely ruins her character. (i suspect it ruins the vision of the character some people had who are invested in having her be a meek babygirl, when she has never been that). or is her character so feeble and underwritten that having a gun is enough to completely change it? no. Skye will keep being Skye (if the writers don’t fuck up which, er, it’s very possible) but her experiences have informed her character and evolution is logical and desirable, I’m all for character development. Getting skills doesn’t mean she will lose her moral compass. She will not become May (btw what’s up with all the May hate? Skye can take her own decisions, May hasn’t made her take up a gun - which we see her do since episode 4 but okay. i bet some people who complain about Skye modelling herself after May wouldn’t have had problems if Ward wasn’t a traitor and Skye started copying him and expressing her admiration for his skills, but maybe that’s just me), she will become Skye-with-new-skills and Skye-with-new-ways-to-protect-the-innocent. No one ever whines when male characters get to do badass things and I bet if tomorrow Fitz wanted to take classes with May because he feels safer knowing how to defend himself no one would take it as a sign that they are going to ruin his character.

i don’t understand. We know Skye wanted to be a field agent because we were told explicitly in episode 3. We know she needs to learn how to protect herself and others because she said it was important to her in “Yes Men”. She is the one who first expressed her desire for May to teach her. What’s wrong with Skye getting exactly what she wants. Plus think of her circumstances. She’s been shot and kidnapped and threatened with rape. I want Skye to know how to protect herself and others, if only because it will help her feel much more fucking safer, and she will be glad to know she can help the team in more ways than she already has. I love Skye, i want that for Skye, i want her to feel safer and more useful and closer to agents she admires like May and Coulson and Trip.

Skye absolutely belongs in the category of Sam and Steve. That’s her morality alignment. And if they can be soldiers, so can she. Because it’s what she’s wanted for a good long time now. 

Yeah, I am watching much of the discussion about Skye in season two and shaking my head. This show does a lot of gross things, but I absolutely don’t want Coulson saving Skye from Ward. Agent May I am fine with, but all these men swooping in like it’s a badly written romance novel to save Skye from Ward is not what I am here for. 

Skye has wanted to be a field agent for a while. I one hundred percent prefer her getting her wish than it to be … say like the scenario on Arrow where the men baby and patronize Felicity and act like she has no right to be out there. 

Skye has been victimized a lot. She doesn’t like the feeling of powerlessness and hopelessness that comes with that and her way of dealing with that has been to say, “I want to be trained so that I can physically defend myself against threats like that.” 

It is a way for an abuse survivor (from her childhood, from Ian, from Ward etc) to be able to say “No. You do not get control of my life anymore. I am taking it back.” 

Also, I absolutely do not want repeats of “we have to go save Skye.” It was perfectly acceptable last year, because she was new. But combined with the problematic way that Victoria Hand was written to just sit there and be shot without fighting back even though she is a level 8 agent and she could have and should have been written as being able to take out Ward 

(Or Ward should have known that taking her out first was necessary) 

It starts to set a bad precedent on the show when the female lead of the show has to be rescued all the time. 

What I am much more interested in is this: Skye and May, training together, and showing how they are much different warriors. May is also a trauma survivor, and she is surviving by keeping her emotions in check - and that’s okay! 

But Skye won’t be that kind of person, I don’t think? So give me that story, show. Give me the story where Skye and May are friends and teacher/student, but their methods and outlooks are different. Give me the narrative that portrays two women who are equally awesome but entirely different. 

Give me the narrative where Skye is the morality police and can still defend herself. Let Skye be able to do what so many survivors of abuse, gender violence, and sexual assault can’t: let her take that power back. 

And let her use it in a good way. The way Grant Ward never did. 

Basically, tldr: Let Skye climb down out of the tower by herself, not have to sit around and wait on a prince to rescue her. Give her those tools and let’s not complain because oh no it means she has to metaphorically cut her hair. 

(Source: chloebennet4)

And there it is. A nearly all-white crowd chanting to a nearly all-black crowd, “Shoot! Shoot! Shoot!” Contemporary racism encapsulated by an attempt to package it as support for the police, exposed by calls to shoot black men.

There are no words.

elestiel:

GIVE ME A TITLE IN MY ASKBOX

  • QUEEN/KING OF _____???
  • PRINCESS/PRINCE OF _____???
  • EMPRESS/EMPEROR OF _____???

bonus points:

  • HEIR TO _____???
  • GOD/GODDESS OF _____???
  • OVERLORD OF _____???
  • GUARDIAN/PROTECTOR OF ____???
  • THE PATRON SAINT OF ____???
  • MASTER/MISTRESS OF ____???

(Source: askboxmemes)

Three years isn’t quite long enough to heal, but the voices in his head are calmer now, sound less like Loki’s actual voice, and only come at night. 

Mostly.

But when they come, Clint can get up, walk down the hallway to the kitchen in the two bedroom trailer that doesn’t belong to him and make a pot of coffee. He usually has a moment or two to himself before he has company.

(Not always though, because he’s not the only one who has nightmares.) 

On this particular morning, Kate walks into the kitchen with Lucky at her heels before the coffee’s completely finished. Clint watches her move, notices that the burn mark from Madame Awful Pants still seems to be giving her some trouble, and pours her a cup of coffee without waiting on it to finish perking. 

He makes sure his hearing aids are in and turned on first. She’s rarely patient about anything, but she’s always patient enough to wait on that before she speaks. 

"Thanks, boss man," she says as she accepts the cup, though there is absolutely none of the actual respect for authority in her tone or her eyes. Clint’s glad, because he never signed up to be anyone’s mentor and the few people he’s actually  mentored are back at … well. Some of them are back at S.H.I.E.L.D. A few of them are dead.

"Least I can do for someone who has been letting me crash in her rented trailer for three years," he points out. "With a pretty beach not more than a stone’s throw from here. Couldn’t do better." 

"Thank the couple that went on extended vacation, not me." She smirks and self-consciously rubs her arm. "Your stone’s throw is better than most, so that’s not saying much." 

The cat wanders in at this point, as it usually does mid way through their morning talks. Sometimes the cat waits until Kate goes out to the beach to do her yoga. 

Clint doesn’t do yoga. He does Dog Cops until lunch time. That’s their schedule. Sometimes he cooks. Sometimes she cooks. Sometimes, when they are both tired of barbecue and burnt food, they make their way into town and see what cheap food they can find. 

The cat reminds Clint of Natasha, and sometimes of Dr. Banner, but it suits Kate, too. 

"They could only afford the extended vacation because you paid for it, dear billionaire  and philanthropist.” He stops there, because that’s all that Kate has in common with Stark, though he’d take her brains over Stark’s any day.

He also stops the coffee, because it’s close enough to being done and takes a drink from he pot. 

"Someday we’ll get you civilized enough to drink from a cup too," Kate snarks at him.

Kate’s snark has, over time, felt as glorious as Clint imagines putting an arrow through Loki’s eye would. And he plans on snarking right back, but then he gets a call from a S.H.I.E.L.D. communication device that hasn’t been used in three years. 

He’s on official leave from S.H.I.E.L.D., and they all know that. They were mostly glad to see him go - and Clint knows that isn’t universally true, but it is still true regardless. Fury has his back, Hill doesn’t think he’s completely evil, and Natasha doesn’t think of him any differently. 

Nat Skypes with Kate and sometimes, they talk about the Boy Scout Nat is hanging out with these days over dinner. 

The Boy Scout believes in Clint, too, and never thought twice before putting his life in Clint’s hands after Clint had tried so earnestly to end it. 

Clint wonders what it is like to trust that much. He’ll never know, he supposes. 

But what he does know is that he is looking down at the message for far too long and Kate’s voice has concern in it when she asks, “Everything okay, Hawkeye?” 

Clint turns the communication device off without replying. “S.H.I.E.L.D. wants me to believe that Fury’s dead and Captain America’s gone evil.” 

Possibly he shouldn’t be telling a civilian S.H.I.E.L.D. secrets. But then, he’s pretty much always sucked at the whole S.H.I.E.L.D. protocol thing. They should be grateful about that. It got them their best agent this side of Melinda May, didn’t it? 

"They want you to report in to take down Captain America?" Kate asks doubtfully. "One of two Avengers I’ve heard you say good things about?" 

"I’ve said good things about Thor’s arms," Clint protests. 

Kate is young enough that her laugh is still sincere. So when it erupts out into the small kitchen, any stress that Clint might have had about his shitty Loki dream, about Nick Fury obviously not being dead, or about Captain America obviously not being evil for fuck’s sake, evaporates. 

"They’re very good arms," Kate agrees, and it’s more of a purr than the damn cat could have ever imagined. 

Clint sets communication device back onto the counter where it has been for three years. “I know. That’s why I compliment them.” 

"You’re staying with me and the kids, huh?" 

One of “the kids” looks up at Clint and wags his tail. The other “kid” keeps on licking its own ass, because cats are weird. 

"Nat will let me know if she and Cap need help," Clint says with a shrug. 

"Wanna go practice, in the meantime?" Kate asks, putting her coffee cup in the sink. 

"Sure." Clint smiles and puts the coffee pot back where it belongs. "You know I love arrows." 

"Pretty fond of them myself," Kate says with an eyeroll. 

"I know. That’s why I’m staying here and not on S.H.I.E.L.D.’s bullshit mission." 

There are other reasons, but that’s as good of a reason as any. 

(Inspired by this commentary

Become friends with people who aren’t your age. Hang out with people whose first language isn’t the same as yours. Get to know someone who doesn’t come from your social class. This is how you see the world. This is how you grow.

note to self (via raysofthesun)

(Source: c0ntemplations)

What it was going to be, we were trying to complicate the relationship between Cap and his S.H.I.E.L.D agent friends. If Hawkeye got a call from S.H.I.E.L.D saying Captain America is a fugitive, would he listen to that call or not listen to that call? That sequence actually was heartbreaking for us to cut it. I think it ultimately might have been a conflict with Renner’s schedule. But there was a great sequence where Hawkeye was chasing Cap through Washington D.C. there was an awesome sequence where they confronted each other in a ravine on the outskirts of D.C. and Hawkeye was shooting a series of arrows closing in on Cap, Cap closing in on him. And then Cap took him down and he realized for the first time that Hawkeye was trying to trick S.H.I.E.L.D, where he whispered something into Cap’s ear that Cap had a tracker on his suit and to punch Hawkeye to make it look real, because there was a Quinjet hovering above where they were watching the feedback back at S.H.I.E.L.D. So it was a cool sequence.

Details on the cut Hawkeye sequence from Captain America: The Winter Soldier. (via iputabirdonmyhead)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand in my “the Avengers would be so much better if the Russo brothers were in charge” argument, I present this evidence to the court.

aviyette:

the term “SJW” doesn’t even hold weight anymore because it is literally something people call every minority that they come across that does something they dislike. 

they don’t even need to seem angry either, you can just go like “my pronouns are they/them” and you are suddenly a social justice warrior.

I cannot wait until Agent Carter debuts. I cannot wait until I have more adventures of Peggy Carter’s life to watch. 

Things I can wait for, but know will inevitably happen regardless: 

a.) People in fandom focusing more on her romantic life, no matter how big or small of a role it plays. Whether she has a love interest or not will be continually whined about. If your main interest in our first solo Marvel superheroine tv show is “who does she end up with” I have zero patience for you.

b.)People in fandom complaining when she is portrayed as vulnerable or with flaws, because we can sit here and cry and make gifs over Bucky and Steve’s tears, but don’t you dare show any vulnerabilities, women of the MCU.

allofthefeelings:

While I understand criticisms of it, I think Natasha’s shows of vulnerability in Avengers, both real and pretend, were all very important. To be clear, I’m talking about performative vulnerability (e.g. her opening scene when she’s tied to the chair) as well as genuine vulnerability (e.g. when she’s running from the Hulk) and combinations thereof (e.g. her face-off with Loki).

I say this not as an argument against @septembriseur’s earlier post but as a complement to it. Because I think many of the criticisms are valid and important to discuss in the context of women in film overall (I discussed that in my reblog a bit), but I also think that some of them were necessary to establish the character of Natasha as a fully three-dimensional hero. In addition, some of the problematic aspects were unavoidable unless you wanted to come up against a whole other set of equally-troubling issues. One of the biggest criticisms of her role in IM2 was (and still is) how unemotional she had been; how she didn’t seem real because she didn’t show any weakness throughout the movie. We can want things to be done better, but we can’t say that her showing weakness and not showing weakness are both unacceptable. We’re creating a vacuum where female characters are not allowed to exist, unless they meet impossible standards.

Perhaps even more importantly, I don’t think we could have her role in Cap2 without having seen in the light we do in Avengers. It seems like each movie is peeling off another layer of the cinematic universe’s version of Natasha, to let us see more of who she is. In the context of Avengers, her character in IM2 gains some much needed depth; in the context of Cap2, Avengers and IM2 have additional complexities. This is true for all characters, of course- more screen time means more characterization- but for a character who’s notorious for hiding huge parts of herself, in films that are decidedly not from her perspective, it lets the viewer ease in to her inner circle and thus earn the privilege of more details of her life.

If we hadn’t seen Natasha frightened at a physical threat in the Hulk, but willing to get it together enough to knock Clint unconscious, would we have fully appreciated her breakdown when she finds out what happened to SHIELD?

I think that Natasha’s role in Avengers left enough spaces for the audience to fill in that I was satisfied, but I of course acknowledge it’s not the same for everyone, and that those spaces that worked for me are not the same as the text fleshing things out itself. I also don’t mean to invalidate anyone else’s opinion that the movie didn’t work for them; no text exists in a vacuum, and every text is different to every reader, and we should criticize female representation whenever possible, in the hopes of it becoming better. But I think it’s important to also acknowledge the good parts of female representation, besides its mere presence. That’s the best way to guarantee we’ll get more of it.

Let’s be honest here: Natasha was the only real character that was written well and correctly in the Avengers. Of course she has vulnerabilities, and criticizing that fact is not even worth anyone’s time.

Each of the Marvel heroes has been allowed to have vulnerabilities: Thor, Tony, Cap, Hulk, Nat, even Clint briefly. That is part of their appeal. That’s how you write a hero and make them relatable and interesting.

We cannot strive towards having female characters and then complain when they are allowed to be people instead of Strong Female Character (TM) memes.