Punky Sidekicks, All the ladies you hate, superheroes, Bisexuality Existing and You Not Being a Biphobic Asshole, queer stuff, kinky stuff, sex positive, fanfic, sexual escapades of fictional people
I’d piss off so many people if I took over the writing privileges for SHIELD.
1. Ward would die. Victoria Hand, who had an LMD shot in her place, would show up and put the bullet directly between his pretty little eyes.
Then she would go out to celebrate with dinner with her girlfriend.
2. Sharon Carter would show up and try to get Trip to join the CIA because it is really super boring there.
3. Maria & Melinda would run SHIELD. The whole bit with Coulson being in charge would have been a bad nightmare caused by a severe reaction to whatever is keeping him alive. Alien bodily fluids give you bad dreams, yo.
4. Skye would continue to actually be able to protect herself, and she would seek therapy for all of the abuse and sexual violence that Ward threatened her with.
5. Ace, Mike and Akela would be given the space and time that is going to be wasted on Ward’s pathetic Nazi ass this season.
6. I’d introduce Ward’s little brother, who grew up to be a great person and not a shit bag. He’d tag along with Sam on a mission and Sam would be like, “Man, I already knew your brother was a piece of shit, but he grew up to be a Nazi, too. Damn.”
7. Steve would show up to be really fucking pissed off that the agency he tore down for a reason is trying to be rebuilt, he’d explain very calmly to Coulson that there was no way that he was going to do a better job than Peggy Carter did, and then he would say, “I guess I didn’t inspire you as much as you thought.” And then he would leave.
8. Enough is enough with all this bullshit about Coulson having to pretend to be dead. It was a fucking ridiculous plotline when Bru pulled it with Bucky and it makes no real sense when Coulson does it, either.
At least Bucky was wanted for murder and treason and all sorts of bad things. Coulson just … continually overestimates his own damn importance and wants to be a dick? IDK. There’s no point in it.
The rest of the team can stop pretending to be dead too, because that’s silly.
These are good and fair endorsements.
But you know i hate hawkeye squared! I totally haven’t written any of it and that one time i called it pedophilia and was obviously not joking at all!!!!! (/sarcasm i totally was.)
reasons black people just can’t get over it.
GIVE ME A TITLE IN MY ASKBOX
- QUEEN/KING OF _____???
- PRINCESS/PRINCE OF _____???
- EMPRESS/EMPEROR OF _____???
- HEIR TO _____???
- GOD/GODDESS OF _____???
- OVERLORD OF _____???
- GUARDIAN/PROTECTOR OF ____???
- THE PATRON SAINT OF ____???
- MASTER/MISTRESS OF ____???
Three years isn’t quite long enough to heal, but the voices in his head are calmer now, sound less like Loki’s actual voice, and only come at night.
But when they come, Clint can get up, walk down the hallway to the kitchen in the two bedroom trailer that doesn’t belong to him and make a pot of coffee. He usually has a moment or two to himself before he has company.
(Not always though, because he’s not the only one who has nightmares.)
On this particular morning, Kate walks into the kitchen with Lucky at her heels before the coffee’s completely finished. Clint watches her move, notices that the burn mark from Madame Awful Pants still seems to be giving her some trouble, and pours her a cup of coffee without waiting on it to finish perking.
He makes sure his hearing aids are in and turned on first. She’s rarely patient about anything, but she’s always patient enough to wait on that before she speaks.
"Thanks, boss man," she says as she accepts the cup, though there is absolutely none of the actual respect for authority in her tone or her eyes. Clint’s glad, because he never signed up to be anyone’s mentor and the few people he’s actually mentored are back at … well. Some of them are back at S.H.I.E.L.D. A few of them are dead.
"Least I can do for someone who has been letting me crash in her rented trailer for three years," he points out. "With a pretty beach not more than a stone’s throw from here. Couldn’t do better."
"Thank the couple that went on extended vacation, not me." She smirks and self-consciously rubs her arm. "Your stone’s throw is better than most, so that’s not saying much."
The cat wanders in at this point, as it usually does mid way through their morning talks. Sometimes the cat waits until Kate goes out to the beach to do her yoga.
Clint doesn’t do yoga. He does Dog Cops until lunch time. That’s their schedule. Sometimes he cooks. Sometimes she cooks. Sometimes, when they are both tired of barbecue and burnt food, they make their way into town and see what cheap food they can find.
The cat reminds Clint of Natasha, and sometimes of Dr. Banner, but it suits Kate, too.
"They could only afford the extended vacation because you paid for it, dear billionaire and philanthropist.” He stops there, because that’s all that Kate has in common with Stark, though he’d take her brains over Stark’s any day.
He also stops the coffee, because it’s close enough to being done and takes a drink from he pot.
"Someday we’ll get you civilized enough to drink from a cup too," Kate snarks at him.
Kate’s snark has, over time, felt as glorious as Clint imagines putting an arrow through Loki’s eye would. And he plans on snarking right back, but then he gets a call from a S.H.I.E.L.D. communication device that hasn’t been used in three years.
He’s on official leave from S.H.I.E.L.D., and they all know that. They were mostly glad to see him go - and Clint knows that isn’t universally true, but it is still true regardless. Fury has his back, Hill doesn’t think he’s completely evil, and Natasha doesn’t think of him any differently.
Nat Skypes with Kate and sometimes, they talk about the Boy Scout Nat is hanging out with these days over dinner.
The Boy Scout believes in Clint, too, and never thought twice before putting his life in Clint’s hands after Clint had tried so earnestly to end it.
Clint wonders what it is like to trust that much. He’ll never know, he supposes.
But what he does know is that he is looking down at the message for far too long and Kate’s voice has concern in it when she asks, “Everything okay, Hawkeye?”
Clint turns the communication device off without replying. “S.H.I.E.L.D. wants me to believe that Fury’s dead and Captain America’s gone evil.”
Possibly he shouldn’t be telling a civilian S.H.I.E.L.D. secrets. But then, he’s pretty much always sucked at the whole S.H.I.E.L.D. protocol thing. They should be grateful about that. It got them their best agent this side of Melinda May, didn’t it?
"They want you to report in to take down Captain America?" Kate asks doubtfully. "One of two Avengers I’ve heard you say good things about?"
"I’ve said good things about Thor’s arms," Clint protests.
Kate is young enough that her laugh is still sincere. So when it erupts out into the small kitchen, any stress that Clint might have had about his shitty Loki dream, about Nick Fury obviously not being dead, or about Captain America obviously not being evil for fuck’s sake, evaporates.
"They’re very good arms," Kate agrees, and it’s more of a purr than the damn cat could have ever imagined.
Clint sets communication device back onto the counter where it has been for three years. “I know. That’s why I compliment them.”
"You’re staying with me and the kids, huh?"
One of “the kids” looks up at Clint and wags his tail. The other “kid” keeps on licking its own ass, because cats are weird.
"Nat will let me know if she and Cap need help," Clint says with a shrug.
"Wanna go practice, in the meantime?" Kate asks, putting her coffee cup in the sink.
"Sure." Clint smiles and puts the coffee pot back where it belongs. "You know I love arrows."
"Pretty fond of them myself," Kate says with an eyeroll.
"I know. That’s why I’m staying here and not on S.H.I.E.L.D.’s bullshit mission."
There are other reasons, but that’s as good of a reason as any.
(Inspired by this commentary)
the term “SJW” doesn’t even hold weight anymore because it is literally something people call every minority that they come across that does something they dislike.
they don’t even need to seem angry either, you can just go like “my pronouns are they/them” and you are suddenly a social justice warrior.
I cannot wait until Agent Carter debuts. I cannot wait until I have more adventures of Peggy Carter’s life to watch.
Things I can wait for, but know will inevitably happen regardless:
a.) People in fandom focusing more on her romantic life, no matter how big or small of a role it plays. Whether she has a love interest or not will be continually whined about. If your main interest in our first solo Marvel superheroine tv show is “who does she end up with” I have zero patience for you.
b.)People in fandom complaining when she is portrayed as vulnerable or with flaws, because we can sit here and cry and make gifs over Bucky and Steve’s tears, but don’t you dare show any vulnerabilities, women of the MCU.
While I understand criticisms of it, I think Natasha’s shows of vulnerability in Avengers, both real and pretend, were all very important. To be clear, I’m talking about performative vulnerability (e.g. her opening scene when she’s tied to the chair) as well as genuine vulnerability (e.g. when she’s running from the Hulk) and combinations thereof (e.g. her face-off with Loki).
I say this not as an argument against @septembriseur’s earlier post but as a complement to it. Because I think many of the criticisms are valid and important to discuss in the context of women in film overall (I discussed that in my reblog a bit), but I also think that some of them were necessary to establish the character of Natasha as a fully three-dimensional hero. In addition, some of the problematic aspects were unavoidable unless you wanted to come up against a whole other set of equally-troubling issues. One of the biggest criticisms of her role in IM2 was (and still is) how unemotional she had been; how she didn’t seem real because she didn’t show any weakness throughout the movie. We can want things to be done better, but we can’t say that her showing weakness and not showing weakness are both unacceptable. We’re creating a vacuum where female characters are not allowed to exist, unless they meet impossible standards.
Perhaps even more importantly, I don’t think we could have her role in Cap2 without having seen in the light we do in Avengers. It seems like each movie is peeling off another layer of the cinematic universe’s version of Natasha, to let us see more of who she is. In the context of Avengers, her character in IM2 gains some much needed depth; in the context of Cap2, Avengers and IM2 have additional complexities. This is true for all characters, of course- more screen time means more characterization- but for a character who’s notorious for hiding huge parts of herself, in films that are decidedly not from her perspective, it lets the viewer ease in to her inner circle and thus earn the privilege of more details of her life.
If we hadn’t seen Natasha frightened at a physical threat in the Hulk, but willing to get it together enough to knock Clint unconscious, would we have fully appreciated her breakdown when she finds out what happened to SHIELD?
I think that Natasha’s role in Avengers left enough spaces for the audience to fill in that I was satisfied, but I of course acknowledge it’s not the same for everyone, and that those spaces that worked for me are not the same as the text fleshing things out itself. I also don’t mean to invalidate anyone else’s opinion that the movie didn’t work for them; no text exists in a vacuum, and every text is different to every reader, and we should criticize female representation whenever possible, in the hopes of it becoming better. But I think it’s important to also acknowledge the good parts of female representation, besides its mere presence. That’s the best way to guarantee we’ll get more of it.
Let’s be honest here: Natasha was the only real character that was written well and correctly in the Avengers. Of course she has vulnerabilities, and criticizing that fact is not even worth anyone’s time.
Each of the Marvel heroes has been allowed to have vulnerabilities: Thor, Tony, Cap, Hulk, Nat, even Clint briefly. That is part of their appeal. That’s how you write a hero and make them relatable and interesting.
We cannot strive towards having female characters and then complain when they are allowed to be people instead of Strong Female Character (TM) memes.